sparrot: beep beep bitches the fucking mayflower is comin through back the fuck up pocahontas and squanto we about to kill all y’all give us your corn give us your land give us your butts … what did I just read?
finefools: glamydia: excuse me urban outfitters i believe you owe my eyes an apology more like chukka that shit in the garbage
clairesawyer: sh4ne: bitchnobodyaskedyou: tsarcasm: dumbfuckery: peeing on my roommate’s clean laundry and wiping with it that’s for eating my ramen that is so beyond unnecessary this is the type of shit i would stab a bitch in the face for #this is biological warfare over some fucking noodles Isn’t ramen like 25¢
studgey: do you ever reblog something and say to yourself “i know who’s going to reblog this” and then they reblog it
zooeyclairedeschanel: if your man starts a reformation to separate the church of england from the roman catholic church because he wants to divorce you because you can’t produce a male child to inherit the throne he’s just not that into you
ionthepeek: interior crocodile alligator I drive a chevrolet, movie, theater.
a makeup tutorial on how to look like this man ♥
Tim Burton should just make a movie called ‘Johnny Depp’. plot twist: Johnny Depp is played by Helena Bonham Carter
philosofiction asked: Before I get back tonight, you need to have exercised, read 100 pages, and listened to at least 2 audio lectures. Go.
"What? Racism? I've never seen any racism in my...
skankcuntwhoreslut: enantiostasis: If you have any of the following in your url: Skank Cunt Whore Slut I applaud your creativity. Congratulations. Sorry I’m not good enough for you.
broriarty: plot twist i never met your mother you were adopted now go to bed
robosexualginger: “i am so ready for the zombie apocalypse, bring it zombies” says the middle-class white girl who never exercises, owns no weapons, and lives in a heavily populated area I do own weapons, but it’s still valid that I would die immediately because I’m a ginormous weenie.
that one tumblr user you respect so much but you’re too creepy and socially awkward to make interaction with them so you just watch them from afar and longingly stroke their icon every time they come up on your dash And you wonder if you can ever tell them about the shrine you’ve built for them and how it only requires a bit of their blood to complete it and open the vortex to hell.
moritzsstiefel: my mom just came into my room and noticed my desktop background and said “oh that’s so cute i think i recognize it from somewhere did you draw that when you were younger?” mom
shavingryansprivates: one of my favorite hobbies is vomiting on anyone who is visibly happy so i can bring them down to my level
did you know if you say bloody marry 3 times in the mirror at 1am your mom will tell you to shut the fuck up and go to bed